Friday, December 16, 2005

I really, really don't want to rise to Vincent Gallo's bait. I don't want to get into questions about whether the actor/director/button-pusher (and self-proclaimed Republican) is or isn't being ironic at the bottom of this page, where, in the course of offering his own sperm for sale (for a million dollars), he writes:

Mr. Gallo maintains the right to refuse sale of his sperm to those of extremely dark complexions. Though a fan of Franco Harris, Derek Jeter, Lenny Kravitz and Lena Horne, Mr. Gallo does not want to be part of that type of integration. In fact, for the next 30 days, he is offering a $50,000 discount to any potential female purchaser who can prove she has naturally blonde hair and blue eyes. Anyone who can prove a direct family link to any of the German soldiers of the mid-century will also receive this discount. Under the laws of the Jewish faith, a Jewish mother would qualify a baby to be deemed a member of the Jewish religion. This would be added incentive for Mr. Gallo to sell his sperm to a Jew mother, his reasoning being with the slim chance that his child moved into the profession of motion picture acting or became a musical performer, this connection to the Jewish faith would guarantee his offspring a better chance at good reviews and maybe even a prize at the Sundance Film Festival or an Oscar.

Instead, I'd like to thank right-wing bloviators everywhere for spending the last two decades whining about "political correctness." You've made it inevitable that some attention-seekers who want to seem brave and edgy and countercultural and daring will choose to spout off this way, knowing that you're out there, helpfully denouncing anyone who's outraged by bigoted language as fascistic, narrow-minded, and uncool. Gallo is your baby. I hope you're proud of your handiwork.

(Via salto mortale. Another charming Gallo quote here.)

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