SHORTER DAVID BROOKS

Two rich, preppy Ivy League elitists are running for President by claiming to have Middle American values. Let me explain at great length why that makes one of them a phony.

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Oh, and by the way, as the presidential campaign goes on and you hear conservatives deride Kerry and Edwards as hoity-toity and out of touch, please remember this photograph of one of the five new trustees of the pioneering conservative magazine, National Review. The man in the photo is 26-year-old Austin Bramwell, and he's wearing a Madras sport jacket. A Madras sport jacket! And he was born in 1978! But his name is Austin Bramwell, and he is an heir to William F. Buckley, so I guess a sort of double-recessive make-another-pitcher-of-bloodys-Muffy preppiness is appropriate.

When they say Kerry represents elitists, just remember: If Bush wins, Austin Bramwell and that jacket win.